← The Communicate & Connect Podcast for Military Relationships
Jul 20, 2026 · 26 min
When our kids are struggling, our natural instinct as parents is often to jump right into problem-solving mode . We want to push harder, structure tighter, or fix whatever is going wrong . But what if the more you try to fix, the less safe they actually feel on the inside? In this episode of the Communicate & Connect Podcast, I sit down with Jamie Roberts, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author who specializes in working with neurodivergent and neuroqueer teenagers . Jamie courageously shares her own journey as a late-diagnosed adult with ADHD, autism, and dyslexia, explaining how different life looks when a teen is met with curious connection instead of high-pressure compliance demands . We unpack the intense tug-and-pull of the teenage years—where kids crave independence but still deeply need to be taken care of . Jamie introduces the beautiful metaphor of "bowling alley bumpers" to describe healthy parental boundaries and explains how to shift from viewing a child's behavior as "defiance" to seeing it as a cry for nervous system regulation . Whether your teen has a formal diagnostic label or simply thinks a little outside the box, this episode will help you slow down, drop the blame, and build a bridge of authentic emotional safety . Read the show notes for this episode here. >>>Are you having the same conversation over and over? Many couples assume they have a communication problem when they're actually stuck in a relationship pattern that keeps creating the same conflict. Take the free Relationship Pattern Assessment to identify the pattern that may be keeping you disconnected and learn what to focus on next . Free Relationship Pattern Assessment